Broken...

My heart is broken.  My only desire is to make my Lord and Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, famous on the earth.  He is the One, True God, and there is none other.  His Name is above all, for He created all that there is.  Any time we sin we defile His Holy Name.  Any time we place self above Him, we sin greatly, and we make Him less than He truly is.  My desire to make Him known has led me down a path that has completely astonished me.  The things He has done in my life, in the lives of my wife and children, and my loving friends in my inner circle can only be explained by a Merciful and Loving God extending His loving grace towards us, and me in particular.  I consider myself the wealthiest man on the earth, for the Lord has blessed me with a beautiful and loving wife, and four simply amazing children that truly love the Lord and live for Him every day.  Over the years He has drawn me close to Him in ways I could have never imagined. 

On this journey He has spoken to me directly through dreams, and later as I have sought His face, I have heard His voice in my Spirit.  I have been journaling since the early 1990’s and that discipline served me well in chronicling what the Lord has done for me and said to me in my prayer time.  In 2016 I felt led by Him to start my blog and as I read many of my past entries it is clear He is speaking to me and through me.  But where His Word is preached more boldly, there is Satan and his demons seeking to steal, kill and destroy.  

I now come to you broken.  I have allowed Satan to steal God’s glory from me.  I have sinned greatly in allowing evil demons with evil intent to rob me of my credibility among my peers and those who have read this blog.  While thinking I was hearing from the Lord, because it had become so comfortable, Satan led me away from my God and I spoke things that should not have been said, for they were not from Him.  

I ended up going to Europe, in direct opposition to the word that I thought was from the Lord.  As the day of my departure drew closer, I became more and more despondent.  The thought of leading anyone astray from the Lord has become unbearable.  I have sought His forgiveness, I have freely confessed my pride and for many days have worn “sackcloth and ashes”, and now know that the Lord has forgiven me.  The part that is more difficult is forgiving myself, because I allowed this to happen.   1 John 4:1 “Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.”

I was do despondent at the thought of leading anyone astray I took down this blog when I returned from Europe.  Only now have I felt led to write this apology, explaining what has happened.  To anyone I have given false hope, please forgive me.  I will leave this blog up for now, for I truly believe that He has spoken to me, but I warn you to read only after seeking the Lord and asking Him to confirm these words are from Him or not.  I may at some point write again, but I simply cannot at this time. 

Grace to all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with an undying love,

Alan Carrico